


The Origins of The DENNIS System

by chimeralicker



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-10 01:40:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3272030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chimeralicker/pseuds/chimeralicker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The gang is in high school they throw a party the same week Dennis creates the DENNIS system.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Origins of The DENNIS System

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The macdennis squad](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+macdennis+squad).



> I wrote this at 4 am. I am macdennis trash.

12:35 pm

On a Friday 

Charlie and Mac were the first to arrive at their lunch table after math class. "So, Mac you really think I have a chance with the waitress girl from math? I mean she let me borrow a pencil we’re practically dating."  
"The waitress? You mean that girl you follow home all the time?" Mac asked him.  
"I don't follow her home to be weird or anything, I'm protecting her from the rats, Mac." before Charlie could say any other dumb shit, in squeaked Dee, her back brace as shiny as ever; probably to impress her main squeeze Bill Ponderosa. 

"What's up you fart nuggets?" Dee said, turning her body to look at each of them because she couldn't move her neck. "Nothing Dee, trying to enjoy my free period without you squeaking around." Mac told her, "Dee? Where's Dennis been? He hasn't been eating lunch with us?"  
"Ooh Dennis has been hanging with Maureen Ponderosa." then Dee whispered, "I think they're going steady." Mac felt jealous over this, he considered Dennis one of his closest friends. He felt betrayed that Dennis would stop eating lunch with their gang. 

To Mac, Dennis was the most popular kid in school, a self-proclaimed god among men, and a god would never abandon his worshipers for a girl with a dead tooth. Mac looked over to the other table with Maureen and Dennis by themselves, Dennis is making Maureen poke his abs. "God damn. He's demonstrating value." 

Dee and Charlie both look at Mac, "Mac, what are you talking about?" Dee asked him. "Well you see Dee, Dennis is coming up with this system. The DENNIS system and the fir-" He was cut-off by Dee "uh I don't care, here comes Adriano." Dee stands up, "Hey uh, Adriano, Me and my brother Dennis are having a party at our house tonight. You and your friends are welcome to come." 

Adriano chuckled, "Us? Come to your party? What makes you think we wanna hang out with the Aluminum Monster, Dirtgrub and Ronnie the Rat?" Adriano turned his attention to Charlie who was staring at him stupidly. "Hey Dirtgrub wanna go huff some bleach in the bat-" He was cut off by Dee. "Uh there'll be booze. Plenty of booze for you and your friends" Adriano looked intrigued, the only way to get booze for a bunch of 17 year olds was to get from a homeless person. "Alright, we'll stop in but, there better be booze or we're gonna make Dirtgrub huff a whole lotta bleach." Adriano walked off with his friends before Charlie could do his usual screaming routine. 

"Dee, you want them to come to the party? They're so mean to you and Charlie. They only use me to get pot since I'm the only drug dealer in school" Mac said.  
"I don't mind I like huffing random things." Charlie shrugged. "I mean I sometimes it's even funner than magnets" Mac and Dee were about to ask him about his magnet hobby when the bell rang. 

During History, Mac and Dennis sat next to each other, "Hey, Dennis bro. We gotta talk. I hear-"  
"Shhh!" their old crypt keeper of the history teacher quieted him. Mac rolled his eyes, "Den, I heard your dating Maureen Ponderosa?!" he whispered. 

"Yeah I'm gonna get her to sleep with me at the party using the DENNIS system." Dennis was looking ahead at the board. Mac was admiring his profile his glistening cheekbones to his supple lips. He broke the cloud of thoughts. 'this is not gay. I'm just admiring my pal’s face shape. I mean he has nice bone structure and bone structure is not gay, bro' Mac thought. "So, um you're really gonna sleep with dead tooth?" Mac began again. 

"AYE! You boys back there stop flirting or I'm gonna have to move one of you!" The teacher croaked. The class giggled leaving Mac a little embarrassed, if only Jesus Christ his lord and savior knew how hetero this was maybe it wasn't a sin. 

Later on at Dennis and Dee's house the gang is preparing their party. In comes Charlie and Mac rolling in a metal keg, "Heyyooo! We got the keg!" 

"Yeah it was to easy I mean just pay a homeless person 50 bucks to rob a bar, what's better than that!" Charlie said. Dee and Dennis walked over to help them with the keg. They rolled it to the middle of the living room floor. "Ingrid is gonna bring some vodka from her mom's liquor cabinet. So that's covered" Dee said. The rest of the Gang looked at each other "Ingrid?" Dennis said.  
Dee rolled her eyes, "Fatty Magoo." 

"Ohhhh" they said together. Charlie walked to the kitchen, "Uhh Dennis?"  
"What Charlie?"  
"Where's the milksteak?"  
Dennis rolled his eyes, "Charlie there is no milksteak."  
"Dennis don't do this to me man, you promised!!" Charlie shrieked.  
"Dee take Charlie upstairs and make sure he calms down. The guests will be here any minute." 

Mac and Dennis were alone, they had been alone so many times but not like this. Mac knew that by the end of the night Dennis will be inside Maureen Ponderosa. "Oh, bro I brought pot, enough for the party." Mac got his bag and pulled out a thermos, 'Demonstrate value. The only way to get a Dennis is to use the DENNIS system.' Mac pulled the baggies out of the thermos and put them on Dennis' coffee table. His mom and Frank were on vacation in Bora Bora to try and rekindle the lost flame of their marriage so its not like they would get in trouble for anything.  
"Oh my god, dude, you didn't have to do that. Thanks man you're a true friend." Those words made Mac even more jealous. 'This is so gay oh my god' Mac thought. 

Later on, the party is in full effect Dennis and Maureen are snuggled up on the couch talking over the loud early 80s glam rock shit that Dennis loves. "Mac, why don't you just tell Dennis how you feel?" Charlie came up behind him beer in hand "Charlie, I'm not gay or in love Dennis that's crazy man." Mac said.  
"Uhh, yeah you are. Mac come on, we throw rocks at trains together you think I can't sense this shit, dude. You and Dennis are hella gay together and I know Maureen is bothering you, why do you just tell him how you feel and give him a hand job in the basement closet. Come on it'll be make you feel better buddy." Charlie said patting Mac on the back and walking away to find The Waitress.  
Mac walked over to Dennis and Maureen. "Maureen." Mac addressed her.  
"Ronnie." she addressed him.  
"Uh Dennis, I think I lost my bag. Could you help my look maybe I lost it in the basement." Mac said smiling.  
"Yeah sure. I'll be just back." Maureen pulled Dennis in for a passionate kiss, because like any other hormonal teenage girl she could sense a threat to her relationship. She gave Mac a dirty look as they walked downstairs and she sipped her beer. 

Mac and Dennis walked downstairs to the basement. Mac's head was clouded with thoughts of what to do when they get to the basement and then Mac's thoughts were silenced by Dennis’ lips softly touching his, Mac felt as if he couldn't pull away until Dennis did. "Mac, you know I was using Maureen to make you jealous. Just to see how much you wanted me." 

"Den, that's really fucked up." Mac told him, but that was beside the point. Mac and Dennis were alone in his basement, Mac leaned in to kiss Dennis harder. Their hands running through each others hair. Dennis pulled away quickly to fumble with Mac’s belt. They began to make out again their tongues slipping into each others mouths, Dennis pushed Mac up against the basement wall and slipped his hand down Mac’s pants 

“Dennis please.” he moaned out. Dennis watched Mac’s face as he started stroking him. Dennis stroked him faster. “Call me a golden god.” Dennis whispered in Mac’s ear, this turned Mac on more. “Oh, fuck Den, you’re a god.” Dennis stroked him faster and faster until he came in his hand. Dennis pulled his hand out of Mac’s pants and wiped it on some towel in the laundry basket. Mac, shaking, sat on the musky couch. Dennis soon joined him. Mac laid his head on Dennis’ shoulder, “That was so gay.” Mac said intertwining his fingers with Dennis’. “Mac, we should go back upstairs soon.” Dennis said, looking at their hands. After a few minutes, Mac stood up “Come on Den, lets go upstairs.” Mac led the way upstairs. Dennis smirked, and thought to himself ‘Engage physically.’


End file.
